We often let the past impact our decisions and the way we move forward, but typically with some air of negativity. We fucked up in some way once and don’t want to do that again. Or we hold on to past trauma and it’s detrimental to us in some unforeseen but related way that is difficult to move past.
I, for one, would be much better off to consistently remind myself of the positive lessons I’ve learned and cultivate an environment where I can repeat those circumstances to my benefit.
Such as the best run I’ve ever had…
It wasn’t my run in the Black Hills of South Dakota or across the desert sandstone of Red Rock Canyon. It was damn near 35 miles, almost all pavement, in no particular hurry, encircling both major lakes of Madison. I’ve mentioned this run and shared the video previously but failed to elaborate on what made it so special. If I had to boiled it down to a single element it would be: expectations.
This was that year’s birthday challenge, and I distinctly recall telling my friendly videographer heading into the day that I just wanted it to be fun - as casual as an ultramarathon can be. I legitimately had no time goal in mind. Run. Walk. Eat. Laugh. And if it wasn’t fun anymore…quit.
Ironically, a mindset like that is precisely what makes you not even consider it. Quitting, that is. Pressure makes diamonds. But a diamond is just a shiny rock. Big whoop. Freedom makes joy.
Joy is a $1 grilled cheese from Kwik Trip right when you hit your first wall. It’s trespassing through the ditch of a monastery because the alternative of running on the shoulder of a highway sounds like a really bad idea. It’s laughing with your friends as you devour a burrito on camera in the middle of the street and subsequently have to take multiple dumps with a half marathon still to go, while your watch ticks on and on, and you don’t care one iota.
It’s a real challenge when you have lofty goals, not to put pressure on everything - to be gentle with yourself. But I have never regretted it. It leaves space for everything to come together.
As part of my strategy of periodization, I want to be climbing at my peak by early spring. The idea was to be taking part in pretty rigorous strength training by now. But a niggling middle finger injury and a mysterious elbow pain have slowed that down considerably.
I knew I had to pull back before they got worse, and having done that, plus actively rehabbing for a few weeks, they (knock on wood) seem to be getting better. If I had pressurized the situation and pushed through the pain, I would be climbing even worse, and my risk of catastrophe would be significant. In fact, it could have easily taken away my ability to reach my biking goal of 1,500 miles this year, which (knock harder) I’ll be hitting later this week.
When I’m able to find the motivation to work my ass off for something that I have no pressure to accomplish, that’s when everything clicks.
Don’t get me wrong, I was in some of the best running shape of my life back when I did this. It’s a lot more fun to not suffer (though there can be joy in that as well), and not suffering at a distance like that requires substantial fitness. There’s no substitute.
But that fitness is hard enough to achieve without weighing it down with outsized pressure to meet a made-up goal.
So here’s to a 2024 filled with fitness of the sustainable kind - the kind that allows you to dig deep when the time is right rather than the kind built specifically for an arbitrary time that you want to be right.
I’m learning from my mistakes, as well as my successes.
I just hit my Giving What We Can goal of donating 2 percent of my income from the year to charity, with a gift to Asher House. They are a dog sanctuary in Oregon aka my heaven. Here’s a video. Merry Christmas to my mother, the most giving person I know…
I just finished reading the massive Stephen King book ‘11/22/63’ and absolutely loved it. King has always been hit or miss for me, but the simple fact that I cruised nearly 800 pages in a couple weeks should tell you all you need to know. The JFK assassination is endlessly fascinating, and the idea of an alternate history where it never happened should appeal to all of us. But the key to the book, to me, is the raw humanity of its main character. Loud recommend.
None of these recs so far have anything to do with mountain sports, but if you want to laugh, give Shane Torres’ new special The Blue Eyed Mexican a watch on YouTube. Shane is the best, and I personally saw much of this material worked out multiple times in the past year. He refined it nicely for the special, even if “refined” isn’t a word typically used to describe him. You won’t be disappointed.
Here’s some athletic shit. US Olympic climber Nathaniel Coleman projecting a gnarly two-move wonder boulder in Colorado’s Front Range. Coleman has visited Boulders Gym in Madison a few times, and watching him work/think stuff is captivating to me. I even took this creepy selfie with him.
Happy holidays, y’all.